date: Friday, January 29, 2010 @ 5:50 AM
You didnt care.
or why should u care,
am i right?
i know i did wrong
but all these months of remorse
u think i m happy?
no, i can never be like the past.
all lies, all crap,
u r free to do anything u wan, u know that.
i m so disgusted wif myself, yes and the more wif ppl around me.
I hate this place, i hate myself, i hate the life i m leading,
i hate it, i smashed everything in my room,
i wan to get out of here or simply juz fuck off.
date: Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 2:03 AM
Been really down these few days,
there are alot of things that i wan to tell u,
but sometimes u dun seem to care,
perhaps or even why should u care....
i m juz a nobody.
life is rather peaceful now,
studying all day long in my room,
sitting beside my window reading literature,
enjoy rather the loneliness of eating alone,
eating ice cream in the nite
munching on my black forest cake n watchin ur favourite tv shows.
How i wish u could break the balance in my life by disrupting my usual rountine.
Am i silly? sometimes when i hear slippers or footsteps passing by my room,
how i wish it is u knocking on my door,
i rem how i usually give u surprises when we initially got together.
perhaps i am getting to used to being alone,
all alone to relive the past that we once had.
some people kept askin if something had happened to me,
i didnt wan to tell them wat i m goin thru,
but i m thankful for their concern.
sometimes i am juz amazed at how much tears i have
can keep on crying for hours.
perhaps u think its because i didnt sleep well tats y i look so haggard
but in fact its because of how much i m crying.
date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 @ 3:22 AM
我知道我的爱一直都会存在，
没有你，泪停不下来，
你知道我多么不想说再见，
没有你，快乐都没了。
某一天我期待和你笑得灿烂，
回头看，爱其实还在。
时间过得好快，但思念却从未断过。
我想你。
date: Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 1:32 AM
Dear, i know u r still angry wif me.
Move on, you said. But I know i cant
I jus wan to hold on to our memories, the past that we had
there are many bits and pieces of sweet images that I often look back upon.
Sometimes i wonder how i am getting by each day.
Put down everything, look at me, i wont repeat the same old mistakes again,
look at me from your heart.
i love u
I broke down again, guess i can onli drown my sorrows, drinking seem to be the onli way to allow me to slp, at least temporaily.
date: Sunday, January 24, 2010 @ 10:17 PM
I duno how to start but i know its time to wake up from this dream, back to reality.
Thank you for giving me memories that will hold a special place in my heart.
i just wanna say move on pls, take care of urself.
It pains my heart to see u like this, i know its tough and u lost all trust in everyone, but still there are sincere ppl around, juz open ur eyes and u will see them.
back to reality, back to studies, back to being alone, but still missing u....
不能和你一起，拥有喜悦和悲伤
不管走多远，步伐都没有力量
不能和你一起，走往幸福方向
孤单的身旁少了坚强
只有一份感伤。
date: Monday, January 18, 2010 @ 8:05 PM
dear, been realli busy recently....
juz tat i rem our monthly anniversary tats y i drank tat nite.....
I have been keeping myself busy to forget what has happen...
不想拥有，因为害怕失去
who knows the pain i m going thru...
date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 @ 10:01 AM
been busy recently, busy with all the training sessions, busy with sch work, busy travelling from home to sch, at least it takes my mind off
还有，就是不停的不停的思念着你
date: Monday, January 11, 2010 @ 1:14 AM
I realised happiness can be held onto, the hug that i get from you, happiness can be touched. you are my happiness.
i duno when i will have a relapse, as in i duno how long i can stay strong before breaking down again
i miss u...
只想说声对不起，i was watchin this tv series all along, it is realli emotional. If i were to have the chance to say sorry, i would say it to you. Your departure have changed me, i know its hard to trust me anymore but i just want to say I am Sorry.
How i wish u could appear infront of me...
date: Sunday, January 10, 2010 @ 1:07 AM
风信子原来代表歉意。。。
i m glad we came out again, went to watch movie.....it was realli a nice show, somehow i never expect the show to depict what we r goin thru, how i wish our ending could be like them in the show....happy ever after....
Many a times, i so feel the urge to hold on to u
Thanks so much coming out wif me.
somehow i realise u have changed.....perhaps i think too much
i still miss u so much.....
date: Thursday, January 07, 2010 @ 11:02 PM
yesterday, i got to the airport early, i waited outside, mixed feelings in me...the moment i saw u, i really wanna go all out n hug you but i didnt wan u to be unhappy. You wont know how happy i am when u r finally back, its like u r the only reason why i m getting on in life. Its been some time since i send u back to ur room, saw weiwei n baby too....had dinner wif u, all in the same usual environment but i know the feelings has changed.
you bought chocolates for me, rem the the 1st time u bought chocolates for me before u went back...
I just wan to let u know, i truly love u, i dun expect anything from you, i juz wan to love u, no matter where u r, my heart wll always be wif u.
I am sorry i didnt kept my promise, the pain is so painful that i have to find something to ease the pain, i took the scissors, cut n cut, finally i saw some blood, i am sorry but i cant control myself.....sorry
I m veri tired, i got no more strength to move on.
date: @ 10:47 PM
为何两个相爱的人不能够在一起，而只能变成回忆。
我多么希望你会出现在我眼前。
就算忘记时间、忘记你，也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜。
我真的很痛，不知道哪儿是尽头，你给了我重心站起来的力量，但又把它带走，我真的没有力气再站起来了。。。
date: Monday, January 04, 2010 @ 10:58 AM
如果能够放下，那就不是爱情了。。。
我任何事都能放弃，只有你，我做不到
date: Sunday, January 03, 2010 @ 10:28 AM
dear.....我累了，一辈子寻寻觅觅在找的东西，原来就在身边，我厌倦了。我现在渴望的是一份安定，一份安定的生活。你一开始就在那里等我，我会到了原点，我真的很想和你过一个平静的生活。
